Try To Fix You
by Fandom-Desires
Summary: Written for the prompt: Loki was in love with someone but that person was ripped away from him. But then he comes to Stark Tower as a punishment or to become an avenger, and the reader is super nice and she wants to be his friend and end up falling in love with him but he's pushing her away because he doesn't want to go through that loss again but he's falling for her anyway
1. Chapter 1

**A/N. This takes place somewhere after the first Avengers film and before shit hits the fan.**

You had lived in Stark Tower now for almost 8 months. Thor had lived in the tower for 7 months. Loki had been here for 5 months. It had been a long 5 months. When the God of Thunder had officially moved in, it had been almost surreal. Having a klutzy god under ones roof was sure to keep you on your toes.

Thor's first screw up had been when a blackout had swept over New York. He tried to fix the problem by sending a massive thunderbolt into the fuse box. It had taken four days to fix. Then he dropped his hammer and put the west lift out of order. Thirteen doors, seven coffee makers, forty windows and seventeen fuses later you had all but given up hope of a peaceful life.

Then Loki arrived.

There had been a vote, to which the answer had been a firm 'no', but he moved in anyway. Thor was vague with the reason why, but from what you could work out something had happened on Asguard and it was affecting the God of Mischief in a bad way.

For the first few days Loki had slunk around the tower in the shadows, not speaking to anyone and not making eye contact. Not that anyone had wanted to speak to him. Or acknowledge him. Everyone had hoped that if they ignored him he would just go away.

He did not.

The days stretched into weeks, and the weeks stretched into months. Loki was still there and he was still…. forlorn?

As much as you didn't want to acknowledge his problems, you knew what plagued him. You yourself had gone through it when the portals had opened in the sky.

" _He opened them."_

You bounced a tennis ball against the wall of your bedroom, ignoring the voice that came from the bunk above you.

" _It's his fault you went through what you did."_

You bounced the ball a little harder, still ignoring the voice.

" _He opened those portals and killed thousands. He killed your parents."_

"Yes, I am aware." You snapped, bouncing the ball a little too hard and failing to catch it. It hit the bunk above you and the owner of the voice hissed, recoiling from your peripheral.

" _You did that on purpose!"_

"I assure you my dear, it was quite accidental." You sighed and stood up to fetch the ball. As you passed the ladder to the top bunk you reached out and patted your companions back. Her tails twitched back and reached up to caress your cheek.

" _I don't mean to upset you. I just want to make sure you know who you're feeling sorry for."_

"Trust me, I know." You flop down on your bunk and Chi-Chi dangles her head over yours. Her tongue flicks your nose gently and her yellow eyes seem to stare into your soul. For a snake, she was overly affectionate.

Tony had had issued with you moving into Stark Tower. Nine issues to be exact: Chi-Chi your 5-foot ball python, your monitor lizard, three dogs, two cats and two macaws had to come with you. Pepper and Nat had eventually swayed his mind. Your nine companions were impeccably well behaved and, with the exception of Chi-Chi, offered company to the other residents. Thor was especially fond of your Jack Russel, Buster.

This was your 'superpower'; you could talk to animals. 'Dolittle' was your unofficial nickname in the press and you hated it. Doctor Dolittle was a fictional character. You were not and talking to animals was nowhere near as fun as the films had made out. You scarcely ventured outside as all you could hear was the chatter of the birds and the whispers of the sewer rats. But you did have your uses. When the portals had opened in the sky you had called upon the rats to lead the people to safety and to then help in the clean-up effort. The birds had shielding people from the worst of it and dogs had led people out of unstable buildings. One of the dogs had come across Steve, which is when the Avengers found out about you. Twelve months and many meetings later, you were a fully-fledged avenger.

"I'm going to talk to him." you decided, gently pushing Chi-Chi aside and standing up.

" _You're an idiot_. _"_

You waved the comment off and began your wondering through the tower. There wasn't really any way to know where Loki was. He kept to himself and you weren't even 100% sure which room was his. Did he even have a room? Maybe he lived in the broom closet.

You chuckled to yourself as the doors to the communal kitchen whooshed open. You waved a greeting to Clint, who was sprawled across several bar stools reading the paper. "Have you seen our resident goth?"

Clint shook his head. "I haven't really been looking. Why do you care?"

You shrugged, filling a thermal flask with freshly brewed coffee. "Just curious. Wondered if he had seen any of the cats recently." It wasn't a lie. Since Loki had come your two cats, Pharrah and Beerious, had rarely been seen. You had a sneaking suspicion that they were keeping him company.

" _Have you tried the helipad?"_

You glanced up to find one of your Macaw's perched on a hanging light fitting. "Why would they be up there?"

"Why would they be where?" Clint lowered his paper in confusion, shaking his head when he realised that Jasper was perched above him. "That's just weird."

" _I don't know, but Lily and I saw him up there when we came back a few hours ago."_

You thanked him and headed towards the elevator, keying in the combo for the helipad. It takes a few minutes to traverse the height of the building and you take a moment to take in the New York skyline. It's certainly better than the towns of Texas that you were used to.

The doors to the lift opened and you stepped out into the airlock system. There were happy purrs from your feet as Pharrah and Beerious stood and stretched from their spot behind a planter. You scratched them both behind their ears and smiled. "What are you two doing all the way up here?"

" _Keeping an eye on our new housemate."_ Beerious purred. _"He's an odd one. Loves solitude but he'll tolerate us."_

" _He's out there behind that pillar._ " Pharrah flicked her eyes and you felt your stomach roll. Of course Loki had managed to find the most remote part of the building. You thanked the two of them and stepped out onto the helipad.

The wind was cold and hard and whipped your hair a hundred different ways. You clutched the thermal flask close to your chest and pattered towards the pillar in question. Poking your head around confirmed that the God of Mischief was indeed sat on the edge, feet dangling 55 storeys above the street.

"Loki?" you called out, one hand maintaining a white-knuckle grip on the pillar. Loki didn't respond, either because the wind stole your voice or because he didn't care. You tried again. "Loki!"

Loki twitched his head and glanced at you out the corner of his eye.

"I brought you coffee!"

The God ignored you and you swallowed the lump in your throat as you sat on the ledge and started scooting your way towards him. Your stomach rolled and you refused to look down as you navigated the 5 foot wide ledge.

Once you were close enough you brandished the thermal flask. Loki looked at it as though it was poison. The ledge here was more sheltered so you didn't need to shout at him anymore. "Coffee." You reiterated, jiggling the flask at him. "I'm not sure how you take it, so there's only a splash of milk in it. You don't strike me as the sugar type."

Loki turned his head away and you carefully placed the flask next to him.

"Jasper tells me you've been out here for a few hours. Aren't you cold?"

No response.

"I'm not sure how you Asgardians feel the cold. Although you're technically a Frost Giant, right? So I guess the cold doesn't bother you so much."

Loki showed no sign that he had heard you, or that he cared to.

"Beerious and Pharrah are quite fond of you. They say that you tolerate them." You sighed as the God continued to ignore you. "I know you're grieving."

Loki's right eye twitched and his brow tightened, although he still refused to look at you or acknowledge you.

"I don't know who you lost, but I know what you're feeling. I lost my parents last year. It's a horrible feeling, but if you talk to someone you can feel a little better."

Loki continued to ignore you but his face was starting to contort with a new emotion. You weren't quite sure if he was about to start crying or throw you from the ledge, so you decided it was possibly time to leave.

"Well, I'm on floor nineteen if you need to talk. Return the flask if you remember. Tony gets pissy about those things."

You left Loki on the ledge and returned to your room. You repeated yourself over the next week, taking a flask of coffee to Loki on that ledge every day. Each day you'd tell him that you were there to listen to him, and every day he would ignore you. On the fourth day you asked Thor about it, but his gently reminded you that it was Loki's business, not his and not yours. If Loki didn't want to tell you then that was that.

" _You're a fool."_ Chi-Chi declared as you made your way to the lift on the eighth day. She was fed up of you going out on the ledge with a guy who might very well push you, so today she was accompanying you. She was wound tightly around your waist, her head draped over your shoulder. _"He wants nothing to do with you, yet you run to talk to him every day. Have you considered that maybe he just doesn't like you?"_

"If he didn't want the company he'd move to a new spot." You said firmly. "Or he'd send a hologram."

" _How do you know he's not?"_

You shrugged, but in reality you had patted his shoulder yesterday before leaving him be. It had been because you'd felt a little giddy when you'd stood up, but it was nice to know that he was actually there.

As you make your way to the pillar today you are surprised to find that Loki isn't sat so far around today. In fact, he's sat so close that you don't need to make your way out onto the ledge at all today. "Morning!" you greeted cheerfully, plonking yourself down on the floor next to him.

Chi-Chi uncurled her lower half and wrapped it around a tethering bolt, rooting the two of you firmly to the ground.

Loki noticed her and raised an eyebrow in surprise. "That's a snake." He said evenly and your heart skipped a beat. After eight days he had finally acknowledged that you were there!

"This is Chi-Chi." You said enthusiastically. "She says hello."

" _No, I don't."_

"She doesn't." Loki smirked.

Your heart skipped another beat. "You can hear her?"

"No, but I can see her body language. I've spent time as several animals. I know them well."

"That's cool!" you gushed, acutely aware that you sounded like an overexcited school girl. "Do you have a favourite animal?"

Loki frowned at you and you felt a blush rising on your cheeks.

"Sorry. I've just never heard you say so much. Well, not in quite a while anyway. I'm not sure if you really remember me."

Loki chuckled dryly. "Y/N. I threw you from the roof of a 26 storey building and several pigeons caught you half way down."

"That's me!" you laughed. He wasn't wrong.

"Why are you here?"

"I told you. I know how to deal with grief and I want to help you."

Loki laughed, but this was a laughter full of self-hatred and anger. "Help me? _Help me_? Please, you only want to help yourself. Whatever you think you feel for me is mere loathing, masked by something else. You're not here for me."

"I'm not obligated to come here, you know. I'm here because I know that you hurt and I don't want other people going through what I went thought."

"You're mortal. Everyone goes through what you're feeling. You're not special."

Loki's words sting but you know he's right. You also know that the second stage of grief is anger. Hopefully this is that, and not just Loki being Loki.

"You're right, humans do know grief well. But something tells me that you're people don't. So speaking to someone could help."

"Go away." Loki said quietly, sneering at you as though you were dog faeces on his boot. "I don't want your company. I don't want to be here."

"Yet here you are; stuck on Earth with me for company." You force a smile, knowing that it's grief speaking and not really him. "Who did you lose?"

"It's none of your business."

"I lost both my parents." You press. "My mum died when her office building collapsed. My dad died from smoke inhalation from the fires. They're both buried in one of those mass memorial things the other side of Central Park. Is whoever you lost buried?"

"It's none of your business." Loki growled, his hands balling into fists.

Sensing that you're about to take a tumble to the world below, you decided to take your leave. You stand and Chi-Chi unravels from around your waist. "It's not your fault, you know? Whatever happened to whoever you lost wasn't your fault."

Loki's gaze remained fixed on the horizon and you weren't sure if he'd heard you.

" _I'll stay here for a while."_ Chi-Chi decided, slithering a little close to him. _"Have a few words cold-blooded to cold-blooded."_

You wave her off and head back to the elevator, collecting the cats on the way. _"He was crying yesterday."_ Pharrah states as the lift doors close behind you.

" _Pretty sure he was crying just now."_ Beerious sighs. _"Such a strange creature."_

Chi-Chi returns two days later but tells you nothing. _"I gave him my word, I'm sorry. You should talk to him again. He's missed your company."_

"He really hasn't." you laugh. "I'm sure the last two days have been very peaceful on that ledge."

" _He's been in his room._ " Chi-Chi stated, slithering in under her duvet on the top bunk. _"Thor payed him a visit yesterday. They're still very close. Thor said it wasn't his fault either and he really started crying. You're on the right path if you want to help him."_

You wonder if she's delusional, but take her advice anyway and seek him out that afternoon. He hasn't returned to the ledge and he's not in the kitchen, lounge or training room. You'd try his room but you still aren't really sure where that is. A tip from Pharrah points you in the direction of the small library on floor 20. Sure enough you find him sat on a small couch, reading a history book on Latin America.

"I didn't know you could read." You joke as you cross the room to sit next to him.

Loki doesn't look up but his brow furrows as he frowns at the pages. "I didn't know you were welcome in my company again."

You shrug and nudge his shoulder gently. He doesn't move and you bounce off his shoulder. It actually stings your arm.

"You are truly very annoying." Loki sighs and snaps the book closed. "What do you want?"

"To help you."

"Hilarious."

"It's true."

"No, you've come to pry."

"Only to try and help you heal."

"Then you're going to run back to all your little Avenger friends and have a good gossip at my expense."

You laugh lightly. "I'm not in the habit of gossiping. Besides, half of them are on a mission in Dubai. Clint sleeps most of the day and Thor is a bit of a night owl. Not the best of company."

"You pets then."

"It's not in animal nature to gossip." You shrug. "They tend to stop listening and wander off." You wonder briefly if you should put a comforting hand on Loki's shoulder. You immediately think better of it and maintain your distance. "I genuinely just want to help you. I've been where you are and I know that you will eat yourself from the inside out with guilt until there's nothing left. I don't want to see anyone suffer in that way, not even a genocidal maniac like yourself."

Loki scoffs in distaste. "I'm not a genocidal maniac."

"You unleashed space-beasts on New York with the sole purpose of slaughtering thousands." You fix Loki with an unimpressed stare. "That's genocidal mania."

"If I tell you what happened, will you leave me alone?"

"Yes."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Loki sighs, head thumping back against the wall behind him. "Then I shall tell you."


	2. Chapter 2

"Her name was Sigyn." Loki spoke quietly. So soft you could scarcely hear her. "She had been a childhood friend, someone who listened when I fell in Thor's shadow and an accomplice to my schemes and jokes. As we grew, so did our friendship. It blossomed into love and we became inseparable. When I learned I was not the son of Odin she stood by me and supported my… betrayal. I kept her safe, hidden from the Etins as they raided Asguard.

When Thor returned and I was presumed dead, she failed to give up hope. She searched for me tirelessly until she found me in the servitude of the Chitauri. When she could not bargain my release she joined me in service and stayed by my side throughout all of it. She never gave up hope of our return to Asguard and would envision the two of us ruling together, side by side.

But when I failed to retrieve the Tesseract, I failed her. Thanos took her prisoner and returned her to me in a small box. I couldn't save her. I failed Odin as a son, Thanos as a soldier and Sigyn as a lover and protector.

So do you see? You waste your time when you say you want to 'help' me. I don't deserve help. I don't deserve to feel better. I destroyed the only thing dear to me and now she's resting at the bottom of a hole in a two foot box."

Loki ended with a sneer, peering down his nose at you. You in turn sat numbed, shocked that he'd opened up to you and what he had experienced.

"I'm sorry." You eventually managed to utter.

"'Sorry'?" Loki mimicked with a turn of the lip. " _You're sorry?_ Sorry for what, exactly? Forcing me to relive what I wanted to forget? For asking me in the first place?"

"I'm sorry that you've suffered as much as you have." You laid a tentative hand on his leg in the hope of offering some comfort.

Loki sprang to his feet as though you had burned him with a branding iron. "Do not touch me!" he hissed, eyes full of hatred and self-loathing. "Do not offer me your false pity. You do not care for me. I murdered your parents and countless others. You feign curiosity and concern but you are nothing more than a liar and a manipulator."

"Manipulator?" You raised your eyebrows. "I didn't manipulate you into anything."

"You pushed and you nagged to find out information I didn't want to share. I do not know you, I do not wish to and I most certainly do not like you. I would give my own life to have one more day with her, yet you talk as though I can just forget and move on. You Midguardians are all the same; pathetic, whiney and annoying."

 _It's just the grief. This is the grief and the self-hatred talking._ You told yourself over and over as you forced yourself to remain calm. "No one is keeping you here." You told him evenly. "As you said, you murdered a lot of people. No one really wants you here, but still we are making an effort. I don't want you to suffer. Personally I believe everyone deserves a shot at redemption, but if you don't want it then that's fine. Take your things and sod off to a remote island somewhere." You stood and dusted off your thighs, as though trying to brush off his words. "If you don't want my company then that's fine, although I give you my word that what you have told me will remain a secret. Good luck with your healing process, Loki." You turned on your heel and stalked from the library.

Although you repeated your mental mantra of it being the grief talking, you weren't totally certain that was true. Loki had always thought lowly of Earth and its inhabitants, so there was always the chance that he was just speaking from the heart, his words unchecked from the grief that consumed him.

Nevertheless you still wanted to help him. You had meant what you said about everyone deserving a shot at redemption. If you hadn't been given that chance by your parents then you would've probably been a homeless drug addict by now.

Deciding that you could use a second opinion you changed course and headed towards the communal lounge. Sure enough you found Clint draped across a sofa, snoring away with a newspaper crumpled on the floor besides him. You kicked it away, disgusted at the headlines which still read ' _AVENGERS WELCOME NEW YORK MURDERER WITH OPEN ARMS'_. People had not taken well to the news that Loki would be staying at Stark Tower. Tony had done well to dissolve the protests, but the papers still harked on about it.

You wiggled Clint's foot lightly and he stirred, peeking out at you from under a half-lidded eye. "Yes?" he yawned, vaguely attempting to sit up.

"I have a question."

"Think I can help?" Clint yawned, managing to sit up a little more. He pulled his legs up, allowing you room to sit.

"Yes. You've successfully done what I'm trying to do."

Clint raised an eyebrow. "Would this involve our resident war criminal?" he laughed at your surprised expression. "Kid, I may be half deaf but I'm not blind."

"I want to help him." you explained. "I don't want him to suffer any more than he has. Thor said he was punished accordingly on Asguard, and from what he told me today he's suffered just as much as us."

"I think you're wrong," Clint stated, folding his arms, "but why exactly do you think I can help?"

"You got through Nat's thousand barriers. You got to the real person hidden away under all that anger, hatred and self-loathing. How?"

Clint sighed, pressing the bridge of his nose. "It takes time. A lot of it. And twice as much patience. If, and I say you shouldn't, but if you want to get through to Loki then you're going to need to be persistent. Don't be pushy but be present, selfless and willing to help him. And be prepared to be given lectures, be lashed out at and possibly almost murdered."

"Thanks." You smile, patting his shin. "See, you can be useful!"

"You're welcome." Clint smiled, before frowning slightly. "Wait, who said I wasn't useful?"

You grinned and waved at him as you headed to the door.

The next stop on your list was Thor. His living quarters were near the top of the tower, allowing him easy access to the helipad, should he feel like flying off somewhere. They were large and open, constructed entirely by one-way glass with the exception of his bedroom. A plush blue rug lined the floor and, as always, the door wasn't locked.

Thor was flopped in a giant beanbag watching some football match on his TV. He grinned at you with a mouth full of popcorn when he saw you. "Frenth!" he greeted before swallowing his popcorn. "Come, sit! Have some of this popped corn."

You politely took some popcorn and perched on the edge of the beanbag. Buster licked your hand eagerly from his mini beanbag on the floor. Apparently he and the God of Thunder were having some bro-bonding time.

"To what do I owe this pleasure?" Thor boomed over the TV.

"It's about Loki." You said, picking at your handful of popcorn.

"Ah, yes! My brother tells me you have been keeping him company! Your snake was with him but yesterday!"

"He told me about Sigyn."

Thor's smile falters and he reaches over to turn off the TV. "He did?" he seems both surprised and confused. "I confess I did not think my brother would ever tell a mortal. He must truly consider you a friend."

"I wouldn't put it that way." You chuckle. "He had some truly colourful things to say about me and my species, but that's not why I'm here. I want to help him, Thor. I want him to feel a bit better. Not 'go out and murder thousands of people' better, but more himself. You know?"

Thor nodded. "I too wish for my brother to return to his good self again. I believe he will become better in time."

"Is there anything we can do to help him along that path? Preferably without getting mulched in the process."

"My brother enjoys the finer things in life. Good books and fine food. He also enjoys pranks, should you be inclined to try and execute one on him."

You laugh in disbelief. "Books and food I can do, but pranking the God of Mischeif? Possibly pushing it too far."

"Perhaps, but this is a strange world. There is much he does not understand about it. I believe you and your fine animal companions could pull something off."

You spend the rest of the afternoon watching the game with Thor, but thinking about his brother. How on Earth were you meant to prank the God of pranks and mayhem? You didn't even know Loki's routine well enough to even begin planning such things. But Thor was right; you had the help of your animals.

That night you rounded them all up and explained what had transpired today, without giving away any sensitive information. It was agreed with Beerious and Pharrah would take turns following Loki and trying to locate his room. Jasper and Lily would keep an eye from on high and Chi-Chi would continue to spend time with him for a few hours a day. As Buster, Digby and Maddie were incapable of being discreet they would go about their daily business. Finally, your monitor lizard Taz was on recon. His job was to hunt out spots for potential pranks. It was ridiculous and absurd, but what was done was done. And it was entirely Thor's fault.

For two days you gave Loki a wide berth. Not that it was hard as he had confined himself to the library. Chi-Chi kept him company and Taz made sure to introduce himself. On the evening of the second day you received word that the rest of the team were finished in Dubai and would be home in three days once they had given their reports. It was your turn to prepare the ceremonial 'well done on not dying' feast and you could think of no one better to help than Loki.

But Loki was not amused.

"No."

"Please."

"No."

"Why?"

"Because I don't like you."

"That's petty."

"My answer is still no. I have better things to do with my time."

You laughed, taking a quick glance around the library. "I bet you've read all the books in here already. You must be bored and besides, it's a good way to express your thanks to the team."

"My thanks?" Loki sneered.

"Yes, your thanks to Tony for disbanding the protests outside and to Steve for going on record to defend your stay here. Your thanks to Nat for not killing you already and your thanks to everyone else for giving you a second chance."

Loki glared at you but, sure enough, three days later and the team was sitting down to a meal prepared by you and Loki. Well, it was mainly Loki. You had merely observed to make sure he didn't try to poison any of you. As it turned out, Loki was an excellent cook. He had prepared a selection of cured meats, smoked fish and roasted vegetables along with fresh salad, homemade bread fancy cheese. Although the other had been unsure of it at first, even they agreed that the food was without fault.

By the end of the evening you could have sworn Loki was smiling. But then again maybe he wasn't smiling, so much as no longer scowling. He almost seemed happy when Pepper suggested he cook monthly meals for the team.

As the rest of the team filtered through into the lounge you stayed behind to wash up. It wasn't until you were loading the second dish washer that you realised Loki had stayed behind. "You did well tonight." You assured him. "They were genuinely grateful for the food."

Loki said nothing, just remained sat at the table watching you pack up.

"You could become the tower's cook." You chuckle. "We could make you a TV show; Cooking with Loki." You laugh aloud as you turn on the dishwashers. The three machines whir to life and you frown. There shouldn't be any whirring. These were Stark machines. They were meant to be quiet as a mouse. With a frown you start poking buttons at random on the display. You manage to get one of them to pause and the door pops open, sending warm water and bright blue bubbles all over the floor. You jump back with a shriek as your socks are soaked.

From the table Loki starts chuckling.

"You! This is your fault!" you point an accusing finger at the snickering God.

Loki raises his hands. "Entirely me. Have fun." He rises from the table, shoots you a teasing smile and stalks from the kitchen, leaving you to deal with the flood of bright blue bubbles and dirty water.


End file.
